We've fixed up almost all of our issues by applying some settings to the Python gRPC channel, primarily:

"grpc.keepalive_time_ms": 2000,
"grpc.max_connection_age_ms": 30000

Who knows what python's defaults are, or why they don't work sensibly. We're doing this a bit blind though. Where would we find SpiceDB's server side gRPC settings, so we can set something that looks compatible? We're using the spicedb k8s operator, so I'll go check there as well. nothing obvious